31 Day Challenge – Day 2

I feel I did Day 1 yesterday with a brief (it WAS brief) introduction and a recent photo. So I’ll play catch up today and be right on course for Star Wars Day tomorrow.

If anyone (That’s you Buster) would like to let me know if I’m doing this correctly then I would be ever so appreciative.

Anyway. Let’s crack on. I’ve got to talk about myself for a minute. Always a joy!

20 facts about me

20 facts.

  1. I have cats. They don’t make up for not being able to have a dog.
  2. I am always late. Apparently this means I feel I’m superior to anyone I’m supposed to be meeting. I don’t hold with this theory. Whoever said it hasn’t seen the level of crazy I achieve when trying to be on time. They’re welcome to share the load, the condescending bastards.
  3. I’m constantly surprised that my children appear whole, well and adequately adjusted.
  4. I will watch anything about fat people.
  5. I used to be a fat person.
  6. I run. Because if I don’t I’ll be fucking mental.
  7. Throughout my twenties I was fucking mental. To give it its proper term; Anxiety Disorder.
  8. I left home at 16 to live in a ‘squat’ with some punks. In my head I didn’t come back until my early 30’s.
  9. I’ve never been married. Not ‘always the bridesmaid’ because I’ve never been a bridesmaid either.I must look shocking in a frock.
  10. My youngest son is a complete mystery to me. I assume this is because we ‘co-parent’ and he has another strong influence other than me. Pisses me right off.
  11. I once served some time at Her Majesty’s Pleasure. Not long enough to show up on a CRB, thankfully.
  12. My Otherhalf is much closer in age to my eldest son than to me. Don’t ask me why it works, it just does. No one is more surprised than me.
  13. This year I experienced real, grown up grief for the first time.
  14. The majority of my teenage years were spent standing in muddy fields watching my brother race motocross.
  15. In the 1980s, whilst my parents were distracted by supporting and encouraging my brother with his talents, I was off showing mine to any teenage boy who was interested.
  16. I have never stayed at home with my kids. I have always worked. There is no knight in shining amour. There is only me.
  17. If I lost my job now I would retrain as a hairdresser.
  18. I was once rescued by three fire engines and assorted cutting equipment. I made the front page of the local paper. I was mortified.
  19. Sometimes I sneak home during the day and sit in absolute silence.
  20. On occasion I have been known to underestimate people.



It Would Be Wrong To Swear Here.

Okay. So here it is. My first blog. I feel I have reached new heights/plumbed new depths in the journey to this. It’s unlikely my musings will be of interest to any one but I will expect high praise and positive words from any one passing. I’m sensitive like that.

Do I start today?

Took my children out of school to visit the Lego Discovery Centre where one of them was poisoned by a Burger King Whopper and vomited in the car park. Wait… that’s not the tone I want to set. Responsible people might read this. People who wouldn’t take their kids on a jolly during termtime OR let them eat Burger King.

Do I start with my family life?

Single parent to three sons. Three different fathers. Might as well get it out there from the off. They don’t have any issues. I have ALL the issues. I can’t avoid speaking about this. I’ve never been the type to hide it. Still, if you see fit to judge, you might as well leave now. It’s How Things Are.

My Job?

See, I’m assuming you were assuming I didn’t have one given the above paragraphs. My issues. Not yours. I have one. I wear a suit. My heels clack. There’s an ID badge.


Boys. Running. The odd cigarette. Lipstick. Pointy hip bones. Fastidious filing. Achievement.


‘isms (the bad ones). Coppers (the type you spend). My bathroom. Migraines. Injustice. Anxiety.

And that. Is that.